Friday, 10 February 2017

C.Allen; new, innovative & sexy.

There’s a talented new writer of erotica on the block! I am interviewing C.Allen, (Chris) asking him about his themes and his inspirations for his sexually infused stories. Chris has published “Gone” which has extended into a series of four books. In addition, “Gang Funding; financing a dream, “Pimpin Mom”, “Pro Sub, by appointment only” and “Cuckold Games.”

 (BR) When did you decide to become an erotic writer? Why?

(Chris) (I started GONE a couple of years ago, but I put it down for a long while before finishing it last spring.

(BR) How do you get inspiration for your books?

(Chris) My inspiration comes from sexual experiences I’ve had throughout my life. I’ve always been what you might call “oversexed” I think about it all the time. 

(BR) You have been published for a couple of years now, with several stories available. What was it that prompted you to begin writing?

(Chris) As I mentioned I’ve always been a very sexual being. I wanted a way to express my fantasies to others. At first I only let my wife and closest female friend read my stuff. They both enjoyed it and saw themselves and some play we’ve all had together, portrayed in my stories.

(BR) Is there any part of your books that is based on your personal experiences? For instance in GONE Serena is bored with the mundanity of her life. When she sees an advertisement offering a new, challenging sexy future she responds. She is also very manipulative. Is that you…or someone that you know?

(Chris) We have a close friend who is probably the only actual nymphomaniac I’ve ever met.  Serena’s sexual freedom and willingness to do anything is in part based on her.

(BR) Do your family read your books?

(Chris) My wife reads and proofs everything I write.

(BR) Which authors do you like to read?

(Chris) I love the 3 “Sleeping Beauty” books that Ann Rice wrote a while back under another name which I can’t remember now. I also love July Cumming and of course your work. Billierosie books were among the first I read when I got into this game.

(BR)What would you suggest to people who want to improve their sex lives?

(Chris) 1) Let go of your inhibitions. 2) Get with someone you really trust and set up situations that are exciting to you both, or however many people you’re playing with, and push your boundaries.  If you have a significant other, you have to be open and honest with each other, or you will end up lying to each other and ruin a good thing.

(BR)What was your favorite chapter (or part) to write and why?

(Chris) I love the character Serena in the GONE series. I admire her self-security and willingness to let go fully into a situation she has decided is safe and satisfying for her.  As she goes deeper into it, all her inhibitions and fear melt away until she is only her sexuality. That to me is the ultimate personal freedom.

(BR) For those who might consider reading your book, what would you tell them to expect?

(Chris)  Hard core sex, I don’t pull any punches when describing sex, instead I want the reader to be fully engrossed in the fantasy and freedom of the story. If you want your erotica tender and glossy, my stories are probably not for you. I want the reader to feel like it is her life she is reading about, so my work is explicit and dirty. If you don’t feel like you can be one of the women in my books, then at least you can have the fantasy. I think my books are like a porno but for the mind not the eyes. I write for women.

(BR) Do you have any advice for aspiring writers?

(Chris)  Write what turns you on.

(BR) We see you on Twitter a lot – some of your Tweets are explicit references to your stories…are you writing to arouse -- are you teasing future readers? Are you aiming to your turn your readers on?

(Chris) I’m aiming to get potential readers interested in the forbidden fantasies that await them in my books.

(BR) Do you get turned on by your stories?

(Chris) Oh yeah, sometimes when I can feel my body temperature rise as well as another part of me. Then I know it’s hot.

(BR) Do you think it is necessary for an Erotica writer to be turned on by the events in a story?

(Chris) Yes, if I’m not turned on writing a story how can I expect the reader to be turned on?

(BR) In Serena’s tale where are you in the stories? Your writing is often brutal; Serena is turned on by the pain and humiliation. Are you the man wielding the whip?

(Chris) Not necessarily I like to feel like I’m free and sexual enough to be in the place these woman are in. Totally free and safe to indulge in the most wild of scenarios. Often the fantasy of a particular sex act is a turn on, even if you wouldn’t put yourself in that position in real life. It’s all about freedom.

(BR) Where does lifestyle experience end and vicarious fantasy begin within your fiction?

(Chris) Over the years I’ve been in a lot of sexual situations that are the genesis of my stories.

(BR) On that note, is there a personal fetish or a fantasy that you have yet to explore in your fiction?

(Chris) I’ll get to all of them. I’ll keep you guessing as to what they are. I love the idea of the unapologetic woman who is completely lost in her sexuality.  We often read about men being that sexual and we generally accept that men are run by their sexual desires. I want to portray women who feel the same way. There are many out there, but society has taught that they can’t be free and sexually primal. I want to show them they are safe in my fantasies no matter how twisted they are.

(BR) With reader reviews so crucial to generating exposure, what are some of the weirdest or most wonderful reactions you’ve had from readers?

(Chris) When I published GONE I was afraid that people would think it was too explicit and demeaning to women. I am glad to see a different reaction. Women seem to love the explicit in your face sex that I write. It goes to show that you can lose yourself in the wicked twisted fantasy even if you wouldn’t live it out in real life. The reviews from women to all my books have been fantastic. They clearly get what I’m trying to do and that makes me very happy. I love and respect women more than anything and I want them to be sexually satisfied in life.

(BR) Finally, looking towards a brighter, more fantastic 2017, what can readers look forward to seeing from you next?

(Chris) More twisted perverted fun! Next up is the conclusion of my newest book “Pimpin’ Mom”

Gone; the complete series by C.Allen is available at Amazon US & Amazon UK  
Gang Funding; financing a dream is at Amazon US and Amazon UK 
Pimpin Mom; Part one is at Amazon U.S. and Amazon UK 
Pro-Sub; by appointment only is at Amazon US  and Amazon UK  and finally Cuckold Games at Amazon US and Amazon UK

C.Allen's Amazon Auther Page is here  and you can find him on Twitter @C._Allenstories

Friday, 3 February 2017

The Tango and Erotica

The Tango -- alluring, sexy, provocative. A dance of exotic erotica.  It’s a piece of performance art telling an ancient tale. A tale that began with Lilith, Adam’s first wife and her refusal to accept Adam’s dominance over her. Lilith just would not tolerate Adam laying on top of her when they had sex. It is a narrative that has been re -told, re-invented hundreds of times over the millennia. Through the medium of dance and spectacle the Tango tells the enduring tale of the dominant persistence of the male, and the equally powerful resistance of the female.

The Tango is a sensual dance which involves a negotiation of power. The male controls the female; she responds to his demand. Sometimes she responds with resistance and rebellion; she seizes the power for herself for a few brief seconds. It is a slow seduction. He caresses her gently, seductively; sometimes not so gently. His caresses can border on erotic violence.

It is not like the waltz, where the male gently manipulates his partner, telling her with his body where he wants her to go. The female in the Tango has a mind of her own. If he lowers his guard for a second she will devour him, annihilate  him with her energy. The observer becomes aware of an energetic field created by the dancers’ inner selves and emotional expression.

In the tango there are smooth horizontal movements that are strong and determined. It is danced in close full, upper body contact. The dancers are very low with long steps and no up and down movements. Forward steps land on the heel; in backward steps the dancer pushes forward from the heel.

There is room for improvisation; sometimes he may accentuate the long line of her body with a caress of his hand. Her fingers may glide over the breadth of his shoulder; they are intensely erotic moments. Their audience draw a hiss of a breath. How do they dare behave so flagrantly with the party looking on? And the Tango, of course can be danced, for brief moments alone; the two dancing for their own seductive pleasure. The dancers respond to Terpsichore the Muse of Dance and Music. Their response is physical, emotional and intellectual.

Tango is a fluid dialogue where the bodies talk and surprise each other step after step. He bends her body into impossible positions, shaping her, forming her, teaching her. She retaliates and swirls furiously away from him.

“Historically, the Tango is a dance that has influences from European and African culture. Dances from the candombe ceremonies of former slave peoples helped shape the modern day Tango. The dance originated in lower-class districts of Buenos Aires and Montevideo. The music derived from the fusion of various forms of music from Europe. The word "tango" seems to have first been used in connection with the dance in the 1890s. Initially it was just one of the many dances, but it soon became popular throughout society, as theatres and street barrel organs spread it from the suburbs to the working-class slums, which were packed with hundreds of thousands of European immigrants, primarily Italians, Spanish and French.

“In the early years of the 20th century, dancers and orchestras from Buenos Aires travelled to Europe, and the first European tango craze took place in Paris, soon followed by London, Berlin, and other capitals. Towards the end of 1913 it hit New York in the USA, and Finland. In the USA around 1911 the word "tango" was often applied to dances in a 2/4 or 4/4 rhythm such as the one-step. The term was fashionable and did not indicate that tango steps would be used in the dance, although they might be. Tango music was sometimes played, but at a rather fast tempo. Instructors of the period would sometimes refer to this as a "North American tango", versus the so-called "Argentine Tango". By 1914 more authentic tango stylings were soon developed, along with some variations like Albert Newman's "Minuet" tango.

“The Tango consists of a variety of styles that developed in different regions and areas of Argentina as well as in other locations around the world. The dance developed in response to many cultural elements, such as the crowding of the venue and even the fashions in clothing. The styles are mostly danced in either open embrace, where lead and follow have space between their bodies, or close embrace, where the lead and follow connect either chest-to-chest (Argentine tango) or in the upper thigh, hip area (American and International tango.)
Paragraphs in quotes from WIKI.

For more on “The Embrace in Tango” click here

“Bora Toska, a Tango dancer, interviewed Javier Rodriguez Javier Rodriguez an important figure in today’s tango world. Ever since his glorious partnership with Geraldine, he’s captured the minds and hearts of tango aficionados around the world, even achieving cult-like status in some places.”

“Above all,’ he said ‘ you have to have the embrace. And the embrace is one only. It can be more open or more closed, very tight or at one meter distance and you can still be embracing another person in the perfect connection. If you know how to embrace and take into you another person’s body, everything else can be fixed.”

Here are Patricio Toucuda and Carla Chimento dancing their version of the Argentine Tango.

Friday, 27 January 2017

VENUS IN FURS: Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

Titian (artist)
Italian, c. 1490 - 1576
Venus with a Mirror, c. 1555
oil on canvas
National Gallery, London

“From the man after whom "masochism" was named comes a sexual fetish novel inspired by the author’s own life.”

Venus with a Mirror, by Titian is the image from which Severin gets the idea of Venus in furs.

“Slavery is a vocation comparable and equal in everyway to any religious calling.”

Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836 – 1895) was an Austrian writer and journalist who embraced utopian thinking; socialism and humanism were the ideals that human beings should aim for. Von Sacher-Masoch was born in a province of the Austrian Empire and studied law and history. He became a man of letters and an editor of a progressive magazine. He is best known for writing a series of short stories that expressed his fantasies and fetishes. The term ‘masochism’ was derived from his name by the  psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing.

Venus in furs is the best known of his works; it is the only piece of his work to be translated into English. The novella was intended to be part of an epic series that Sacher-Masoch envisioned called Legacy of Cain. Venus in Furs was just one part of “Love”; the first volume of the series. It was published in 1870.

Sacher-Masoch’s novella reads like an instruction manual for Dominants and submissives. The narrative concerns a man who dreams of speaking to Venus about love while the goddess wears furs. The unnamed narrator tells his dreams to a friend, Severin, who tells him how to break his fascination with cruel women by reading a manuscript, Memoirs of a Suprasensual Man.

Severin, the protagonist of the manuscript, is infatuated with Wanda von Dunajew. Wanda is not only beautiful, but wealthy. All that Severin asks of her is that she treats him brutally. He wants to be abused emotionally and physically. Throughout the novella Severin encourages her to treat him in progressively more degrading ways. He is routinely whipped and humiliated.

At first Wanda does not understand or accede to the request, but after humouring Severin, she finds the advantages of the method to be interesting and enthusiastically embraces the idea, although at the same time she disdains Severin for allowing her to do so.

Severin describes his feelings during these experiences as suprasensuality.

Leaving the Carpathian mountains for Florence, Wanda makes Severin dress and act like a common servant, forcing him to sleep in disgusting quarters and keeping him isolated from her company unless needed to serve some whim or another. These changes make Severin feel the palpable reality of his desires. They are a reality that he was in no way prepared for; while he loathes his detestable new position, he finds himself unable to resist, and to keep from requesting new humiliations. At times Wanda offers to put an end to their game, because she still has feelings of affection toward him, but those feelings fade as her mantle of power gives her free rein to use Severin for her increasingly twisted device. In Florence, Wanda recruits a trio of African women to dominate him.

"To be the slave of a woman, a beautiful woman, whom I love, whom I worship - !"
"And who mistreats you for it," Wanda broke in, laughing.
"Yes, who ties me up and whips me, who kicks me when she belong to another man."

The relationship arrives at a crisis when Wanda herself meets a man to whom she would like to submit, a Byronic hero known as Alexis Papadopolis. At the end of the book, Severin, humiliated by Wanda's new lover, loses the desire to submit.

 Sacher-Masoch makes it absolutely clear that Severin’s life has no apparent shape or meaning unless he is able to express his desire for a commanding, withholding woman. The electrical charge that Severin feels when he kneels at a woman’s feet, sensing her anger and the bristling of the furs she wears, gives him his identity; a presence to be trampled on.

Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch drew from his own masochistic experience with Baroness Fanny Von Pistor. He agreed to be her slave, and renounce all claim on his own life; she could even kill him if she wished, and this is reflected in Venus in Furs. The "contract" gives Wanda, or "Mistress" free rein to make Severin suffer in a variety of ways; whipping him regularly, kicking him around, starving him, torturing him emotionally. And Severin is in his element. In fact, he begs her to punish him "I want to be your dog". As long as she wears her furs whilst doing it, he is happy and fulfilled.

I enjoyed Venus in Furs. I had to keep reminding myself that it was written in 1869. Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch’s prose style is relaxed and he deals with intense needs and desires in an impersonal, matter of fact manner. Submission was Sacher-Masoch’s own fetish and he voices startlingly modern sentiments. It is a passionate and powerful portrayal of one man's struggle to enlighten and instruct himself, and others in the realm of desire.

As writers of erotica I think that there is a lot we can learn from Sacher-Masoch. He places the darker side of desire unequivocally at the heart of any discussion about sadomasochism. In writing about his own fetish he is stating his position quite clearly. This is what I am; get used to it!

He manages to convey an erotic experience, an erotic journey without a single prick, cock, cum, pussy, cunt, fanny, erection or genitalia. He has a unique sense of imagery; he writes in a visual way which has made the book accessible to stage and film adaptations.

So should I take Sacher-Masoch’s book as literature or as psychology --or as erotica? It doesn’t matter; there’s no question that this book, has left a distinct mark on my own imagination. Highly recommended!

 'Venus in Furs' arrived at my home, delivered by mail. A gift from my dear, sweet friend Jan Vander Laenen! Thank you Jan!

Friday, 20 January 2017

Do relationships suck too?
Just in time for Valentines’ Day, I am returning with the long-awaited sequel to my novel MONOGAMY SUCKS entitled RELATIONSHIPS SUCK which poses this provocative question.
My novel RELATIONSHIPS SUCK, which is available on Amazon and Smashwords, continues MONOGAMY SUCKS’ protagonist Jake Dalmas’ naughty and hilarious swinging and casual sex adventures while also depicting his issues and frustrations with relationships, particularly open relationships.
Jake is not alone. Recent surveys and studies indicate that all is not well with the world of relationships. A recent study presented at the American Psychological Association’s Annual Convention found that being single could be more fulfilling, due to greater personal growth and development.
A recent Pew Research Center study about the state of romance in America indicated that “most young singles in America do not describe themselves as actively looking for romantic partners. Even those who are seeking relationships are not dating frequently. About half (49%) had been on no more than one date in the previous three months.”
So many struggle with relationships and yet we keep looking for happiness just as Jake does. Even with an open relationship, Jake encounters the same difficulties. I believe this book is funny and intriguing like my first novel, MONOGAMY SUCKS, and even sexier and naughtier in parts. RELATIONSHIPS SUCK moves Jake’s story forward in cool and sexy ways.
Juliette, Jake’s sexy Asian artist girlfriend, returns for the sequel, as do a couple of other nefarious characters from the first novel. The sequel introduces a new character named Simone, a beautiful African American art gallery manager and a friend of Juliette.
Jake, Juliette, and Simone explore some scintillating erotic intercolor encounters together that are among the novel’s naughtiest scenes and some of the hottest and sexiest writing I have ever done. I am looking forward to the response from readers.
As Jake finally begins to discover the tantalizing adventures of his wild fantasies – threesomes, orgies, wild couplings with beautiful, uninhibited exotic sexy women of every size, shape, and background – he continues to question whether he should be in a relationship at all.
Can his open love with Juliette survive the temptations of the swinging world?
Will jealousy and possessiveness break their daring bond?
This next chapter of Jake’s naughty diary promises the frank humor and naughty swinging adventure that characterized the original novel, but also provides a clear-eyed view of swinging lifestyle and relationships and the limits of each for him.
I am very happy with how my sequel to MONOGAMY SUCKS has turned out. I have recaptured Jake’s sardonic, humorous voice from the original novel while also showing how he has grown as a person through his experiences. It has been a long journey as I started this book seven years ago before my former publisher originally launched MONOGAMY SUCKS.
I am thankful for the help I received from fellow author Billierosie, known as @jojojojude on Twitter, who gave my novel one final copy edit.
Many thanks also to book cover artist Dancinee Jennings who worked with me to put together this book’s cover as well. She also helped me previously with the cover for my indie version of MONOGAMY SUCKS.
What’s next for me?
Soon I will be working on a science fiction novella based on a short story I wrote when he was 18, and later this year, I will republish my novel DEAR HEF, which explores online dating and sex and has a provocative celebrity angle, on Amazon and Smashwords.
Until then, I am thrilled to share the return of Jake’s naughty diary and hilarious journey.
Dear reader, I am looking forward to your response as always.


Relationships Suck is at Amazon US  and Amazon UK 

Saturday, 7 January 2017


TOPPING FROM BELOW, by Laura Reese, is not for the fainthearted. I started reading it with trepidation; the book at arms’ length. I had a good idea where it was going -- and I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle it. I’d written a feature for my blog, on bestiality in literature. Why was it so taboo; it’s in classical art and literature, so why are editors and publishers so fearful of going anywhere near it?

So there I was, with the real thing in my hand -- and I was scared. I’d been quite brave in my essay -- at least, I thought I had. I’d had a lot of intelligent response; one in particular from Neve Black, who’d recommended TOPPING FROM BELOW to me. What was there to be afraid of?
I knew the book contained the real act: yes, bestiality. Neve had told me. So with chilly uncertainty nipping at my fingertips, I opened the book and started to read.
I’m tempted to describe this book as a ‘decline and fall,’ story. But it isn’t really that, because there is no fall. There’s no retribution, because the narrator doesn’t recognise that she’s done anything wrong. No sin has been committed. By the end of the book, she understands that something has been drawn out of her; something that should have remained hidden.

Nora knows who killed her sister, Franny. She knows without a doubt. The culprit has been questioned, but no charges have been made.
Nora is determined to prove his guilt and have him brought to justice; it is how she goes about this that elevates TOPPING FROM BELOW, from dark pornography, to a powerful, beautifully crafted story.

Nora’s suspect is a charismatic sadomasochist. Franny, her murdered sister, had fallen under his spell and Nora sets about taking Franny’s place. She learns of Franny’s degradation and humiliation and learns how Franny embraced one perversion after another, just to please the man she believed loved her. The difference between the two sisters, is that Franny’s actions filled her with self loathing. Nora accepts each perversion as a new way of life.

In her closing chapter, Nora, the narrator, tells us;
“M awakened in me passions I didn’t know existed…”
But she is reconciled within herself. Nora continues;

“A year ago I would’ve said there was a clear line separating the good from the evil. I would’ve said that evilness belonged in the netherworld and that evil men existed beyond the peripheries of decency. Now I’m not so sure. I believe that there is a dark side that belongs to us all, lying beneath the surface of our humanity, twisted extreme and savage in some of us, less severe in others, but always present and always at struggle with the civilised soul…”

There are dark places in our hearts; those secret doors that are best left closed.

I’m glad I read Laura Reese’s book and I am so glad that Neve Black recommended it to me. As I said TOPPING FROM BELOW, isn’t for the fainthearted. It’s challenging and confrontational -- but it’s also a damn good story I definitely recommend it, and I shall certainly be reading it again. When Neve first told me about Laura Reese’ book it was out of print, but I was lucky enough to get it via a private seller. Thankfully, it is now back in print.

Published in 1995, TOPPING FROM BELOW is available at Amazon UK and Amazon US in hard copy and as a Kindle e-read.

Friday, 23 December 2016


I suppose you could say I fell into the scene. I had always felt like a round peg in a square hole, never quite fitting the mould, and the day I stepped inside a Dominatrix's converted house I knew I had found something that made my heart race and my blood pump to every corner of my being. I had never thought of myself as being dominant or 'into' fetish, I would admit to bossy (controversial word but I believe I am), and confident, but dominant was not a word I was au fait with. So, how did I get to be in that house?

Believe it or not I was a rather quiet child at school, always had my head in the books, a good student. At home was another matter altogether.  I am the oldest sibling and didn't I know it! Some of my earliest memories are of organising school role play games with the local group of children I grew up with. I was always the teacher, up at the blackboard, giving my orders. Childhood games of 'house’ and ‘mummies and daddies ' were always dictated and led by me. I even convinced two of the local boys to be part of a dance group, one of whom I am still close friends with to this day. He recounts the story regularly of the time when I had them dancing to Abba songs, much to his disgust! My teenage years were angst filled, as many teenagers’ years are. I was diagnosed as an insulin dependent diabetic at 12 years old and had to grow up and become independent and responsible overnight. This set me apart from my peers as they could gallivant off at a moments notice whereas I had to take bags full of medical kit and food. It was at this point that I think I felt a separation from the 'norm'.

I am asked regularly as to whether I had fetish inklings during my youth. I’m not sure, is the answer to that. Was I different? Yes. Was I drawn toward fetish immediately? Yes, once I found it. One incident I recall vividly was seeing The Rocky Horror Show film for the first time. I must have been about 11 or 12 years old. I was intrigued, (border line obsessed), with Tim Curry as Frankinfurter in his underwear and make up. I recall the film doing strange things to my insides and wondering what on earth was going on with me. Was I born to fancy men in frilly knickers? :-)
Time passed, I grew up, I experimented, and I lived. Some of my early ‘experimentation’ did include fetish play and I did frequent both swinging and fetish clubs during this period, building up an interesting group of friends. It was whilst attending a New Years Eve party, with said group of friends, that I met my first ever Pro Dominatrix. She was full of energy, verve, passion and had a wicked sense of fun. I was spellbound by her. Her authoritativeness, her way with others and her charismatic personality all meant her presence lit up the room.  We ended up in deep conversation and we realised we had a lot in common. By New Year's Day she had invited me to her 'dungeon', I accepted her invite and the rest just fell into place. I quit my job – teaching, and I committed to a new future, not being totally sure of what that future actually held. It was mad, irrational and one of the best bloody decisions I had made in my life up to that point. That's how I ended up in that converted 2 up, 2 down house.

The Domme of the house took me under her wing and taught me the intricacies of domination. I do not believe that you can teach a person to be naturally dominant, it is either there or it isn't, however a person has to learn the art and skills of domination. I was intrigued by the raw power of CP, the delicacy of sensual play, the potency of bondage, the raucousness and entertainment of and from humiliation, the joy of the extensive range of outfits and shoes/boots, (I could go on and on). And then there was the control, that huge, ever present feeling of complete control. It swept me off my feet. I got to meet a multitude people, both Domme and sub, all with wonderful life stories and amazing 'journeys.' The subs were men whose interests are labelled in the vanilla world as 'weird' and 'sick' and there I was chatting to them. I enjoyed their company and soaked up their unique stories and tales as to how they got in to finding and exploring their submissive sides and interests. One in particular, a maid slave, had a big impact on me. He/she was present at the dungeon a lot and she was often my guinea pig. I remember a full afternoon spent with the violet wand and electrics box with me 'experimenting' on her with lots of jumping and screeching (on her part) and lots of giggling (on my part). She was very particular about her dressing too. She taught me that for some people the dressing, make up and full presentation has to be precise. She was quite the perfectionist when it came to outfits, matching her underwear and accessories. She had to be presentable at all times because punishment reigned if she was not. The dominants I met were from all walks of life, some pro, some played socially, a Master whose forte was rope bondage.

I was discovering myself and my kink, which was hidden under layers of social conditioning. I was growing and developing at a pace. The Dominatrix that gave her time to train me became a friend, a partner in crime, we played good cop, bad cop. We were light and shade and all was well. Every day I would go to her dungeon to learn and experience. Every single day I witnessed new interests, new activities and I was hooked. When the time came for her dungeon to close, we parted company, I was ready to spread my wings and fly alone in my own setting. She retired not long after. Many Domme's seem to burn out and disappear from the scene as quickly as a candle is blown out in a draught. Obviously, there are many colourful and varied reasons for a Domme's retirement, they range from ill health to personal problems to their dungeons being targeted by local gossips and 'do gooders'. Many seem to simply tire of the 'role' and the pretence and they become unable to face putting on the make-up and the clothing and transforming themselves into their chosen persona. I am hoping to completely avoid this particular hurdle as I am as true to myself as I can be. I am not an actress that plays a part. Angelica is me, she’s not an alien invader, she has lived and breathed within me since the day I was born. 

 My beliefs and ways of playing are ever growing and changing. I truly enjoy what I do. When a submissive approaches me I listen to and respect their interests and then I create a session that works for me rather than kowtowing to anyone’s specific fetishes. I train all of my submissives to accept. Acceptance of my decisions, instructions and choices takes time to train into a submissive. I enjoy this time of getting to know a person inside/out. It can take years for me to fully train a submissive as I want them. There is no rush, time is forever on my side in my studio. I want to end a session knowing that I have taken what I wanted from the session and knowing the sub in my presence has been truly dominated/controlled by me. Topping from the bottom is a pet hate of mine. I do
understand that people have core interests and will ensure that I find out about these, those are their 'weaknesses' in play. They will be the things they look forward to, enjoy, fantasise about and that can be a potent part of a session but they have to understand that I, their Mistress, also has interests and in order to keep me entertained they have to be open and accept my play, my interests, my mood and my wants and needs.

Mistress Angelica has published two books. My Dinner Party is at Amazon UK & Amazon US
Chemin de Fer is at Amazon UK and Amazon US
Mistress Angelica can be found at her website
 On Twitter she is @MAngelica1UK

Friday, 16 December 2016

DISSONANCE a free Christmas Eve read from billierosie

It is Christmas Eve in the busy Andalucía restaurant. There is an atmosphere of noisy chaos; this is a deliberate ploy on the part of Esteban, the restaurant manager. The aim is to transport diners far, far away to the heat of exotic Southern Spain, with its Arabian heritage, where everything seems to be chaotic but really it isn’t. There’s a lot of shouting from the waiters as they attend swiftly to the diners. The waiters flatter female diners with flirtatious flickering glances. Esteban has told them to do this, flirting with English women is to be expected of Spanish men regardless of your sexual preference and regardless of the woman’s age.

Christmas Eve is always one of the busiest nights of the year in the Andalucía restaurant.
The lights in the Andalucía are kept low, creating an atmosphere of intimacy. You are just able to discern colour and you can observe a guitarist wearing a red muleta, a matador’s cape, moving between tables, getting in the way of sweating waiters as he thrums a flamenco in the style of Rodrigo.

Reds and blacks predominate and sudden flares as a chef flambés steaks at one of the tables. His movements and gestures are flourishing; a sort of constitutional showing off.

The fragrance of cooking meats stimulates the appetite.

A host greets a man and a woman, a Señor and a Señora at the door and takes their heavy coats. It may be warm in the restaurant, but this is England in December and it’s bitterly cold outside, a gale blowing spiteful flecks of snow around.

There will be a white Christmas.

The woman is very beautiful with a Rubenesque figure. Her features are pretty, with wide dark eyes and a full sensuous mouth. Her long auburn hair is swept up at the neck with just a few curls allowed to fall casually.

She is small, barely reaching her partner’s shoulder. His craggy dark good looks are tight with tension.
They are shown to their corner table. It’s the table that they have always had, every Christmas Eve for twenty seven years. She has asked for it when she made the booking.

They sit in silence for some minutes.

“This is nice,” the woman says.

They peruse the menu, each knowing what the other will order. It will be the same entrées and main courses that they have always ordered over the years that they have been coming here.

Only the choice of wine varies.

They order their food: small talk seems necessary.

“I do love this restaurant, it’s like being in Spain, I mean actually being in Spain. I think we should book our holiday soon, make our reservations at the hotel.”

“Perhaps,” says the man; he knows that a response is necessary.

“There’s no ‘perhaps’ about it,” she says quickly.

“Well…yes maybe we should.”

“Well, at least we agree on something.”

“Do we?”

“Do we what?”

“Agree on something.”

They are silent for seconds. The waiter brings a jug of iced water.

“A bottle of this,” the man asks the waiter, pointing to the Cava on the wine list.

The waiter pours them both a glass of iced water and leaves them to talk.

“I’m in the mood for red,” she says.

“Nothing’s ever right for you…”

But he’s asked for the Cava anyway…he has ordered his usual Fruit du Mer as an entrée. Mussels are at the height of the season and will be plump and delicious right now. And his wife has predictably ordered her usual safe citrus fruit cocktail. The taste of the cool white wine will clash horribly with the citric juices, but he’s past caring.

She ignores his jibe. She picks at the cuticle of the thumbnail of her right hand with the index fingernail of the same hand. She wants some answers from him, but she’s not sure what the question is anymore. When she does speak it is a clumsy attempt at intimacy.

“What sort of people sit in a restaurant and don’t even try to talk to each other?”

“Married people,” he says quickly.

The woman flinches. There’s a sting in his words. “We don’t talk anymore, not really talk,” she says. We used to sit up all night, just talking, remember?”

The man fixes his wife with a long cool glance.

“I remember we used talk about a lot of things all night. We used to do a lot of things all night too.”

“Please don’t…I thought we’d finished talking about that.”

“Talking about what?”

“You know…”

“Do I?”

“You can’t even say the word. It’s sex; fucking.”

She takes a sip of her iced water. “I still can’t make up my mind about how to have the kitchen finished off. I think wood would be best. Mahogany or pine. What do you think? I don’t think we should go for the stainless steel. An industrial look wouldn’t fit with the farmhouse.”

Her husband sighs. He rests his elbows on the small table and he leans forward. She can feel his warm breath on her face. She cannot repress a shudder.

“You’re prevaricating again. You always do that…prevaricate. Evade the subject.”

“Thank you. I do know what prevaricate means,” she says irritably.

“So you should, you’re an expert at it.”

She slides her forefinger over the condensation forming on her chilling water glass. A gesture that could have been seen as slightly erotic, but he knows better.

“Don’t be nasty. It’s Christmas Eve. We can do it when we get home…if you like.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t say ‘thank you’. You our make our lovemaking sound so mechanical.”

“It is mechanical. You go to the bathroom before we fuck and stuff your cunt with lubricant. Then we fuck. I want to hold you afterwards and even do it again, or maybe not…but you can’t wait to get back to the bathroom so you can douche.”

“Don’t be crude…you’re being crude…and nasty cruel.”

Her fingernail digs at the cuticle; she has made the place sore.

“Oh sorry if I offend your delicate sensibilities. I can’t believe that you really think that couples of our age don’t have sex anymore.”

“I never said that…not exactly that…but I no, I don’t believe they do.”

“So because we’ve both hit fifty, we’re never going to have sex again?”

“There are more important things.”

“Oh really? Like what? The kitchen and holidays in Spain?"

“Yes…if you like…”

“I don’t like…sometimes I despair.”

“Don’t exaggerate. You despair about what?”

“My own body. I don’t know I don’t know what to do about my own body.”

“You’re still talking about sex? You’re obsessed. You should masturbate…in fact I know you do, I’ve smelt it on the bathroom towels”

“I do…masturbate, often. But it’s not enough.”

“You’re sex mad, that’s your problem.”

“You always say that.”

“I have needs and so do you…I hear you masturbating in the night, when you think I’m asleep. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

“It’s…it’s just a physical thing…like scratching an itch…I sort it out and go back to normal.”

“You’re insane,” he mutters.

“You always say that.”

The wine waiter arrives, the tall clear bottle of pale, honey coloured wine wrapped in a white linen napkin. He performs the little pantomime that none of them really believes in, but the ritual of pouring, offering the glass to be sniffed and tasted has to be observed.

The man nods his approval to the waiter and the waiter pours two glasses.

“I really would have preferred red.”

“I’ve order red, a Rioja to drink with our main course.”

“Don’t you love me anymore?”

“What, because I didn’t order red wine straight away, you think I don’t love you anymore?"

“You’re just being so abrasive tonight.”

The waiter brings their entrée. They are silent a while; the food is a small distraction. She pushes the thin slivers of orange and grapefruit around the deep blue bowl and surreptitiously watches him eat.

He is skilled at the delicate way he manipulates the shell fish. The first one he opens with a fork, then he uses the empty shell casing as an implement to pick up the next moules. He opens it up, now using the shell like a pair of tweezers and grips the plump body inside. Then he eats. The procedure is sensual. Touch, taste…clever sensitive fingers, dexterity, lips, mouth, saliva, sucking.

She shudders.

She has given up all pretense of eating her entrée.

“Well do you still love me?” she asks.

“Don’t know. Do you still love me?"

“Yes, I do very much.”

He is silent.

“Don’t you like your food? I can ask for something else if you like.”

“It’s okay.”

“Perhaps I do still love you, perhaps I don’t, I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t like you very much. But I still desire you, is that the same as love?”

“That’s deep.”

“Not really. It’s like in the song, ‘something has died inside and I can’t hide and I just can’t fake it’.” He knows he’s muddled the words; he always muddles the words even when he’s singing along with Carole but he’s smiling as he softly sings the lyric.

“You’re being personal and hurtful to pay me out.”

“Revenge?” the man’s laugh is without any humour. “I gave up on revenge a long time ago. But I’m glad it hurts. I think of all the times you’ve belittled me, made me the butt of your stupid jokes. Made me a joke. Vanessa doesn’t think I’m a joke, by the way.”

“What do you mean?”


The fingernail digs deeper; the cuticle begins to bleed.

“Have you had sex with Vanessa?”

A waiter deftly removes plates. Another waiter brings their ruby red Rioja. The ritual of pouring, sniffing, tasting is repeated.

Their steaks arrive. Filet de boeuf. Rare for him. Very well done for her. Thus it has always been and always will be. A younger waiter dithers over serving the red tomato salads and frites. Perhaps he feels the tension in the atmosphere. She sighs her irritation and the young man leaves the table unfinished.

“Not yet, but I could have. I may well do. Vanessa likes sex.”

He cuts into his steak, it is bloody, just as he likes it.

She glances at her bleeding thumb cuticle. Dabbing at the blood gives her a distraction. She doesn’t know whether to believe him.

“Have you discussed our private life with Vanessa?"

“Of course I have. I talked, she listened. Then she talked and I listened. You know a dialogue like grown up people have.”

“I want to leave. I want to go home. Can we leave now please.”

“Not yet.”

“What is it exactly, what is it that you want? Do you want a divorce?”

“No, I don’t want a divorce.”

“Then what?”

He puts down his knife and fork.

“That’s pretty much what I talked to Vanessa about.”

“Ah, Vanessa, the fount of all wisdom.”

“Not really. She just told me stuff about people who have the same sort of problems that we have.”

“And what’s that?”

“You know what the problem is.” His voice is raised, and despite the noise in the restaurant, a couple on a nearby table turn to stare. “Boredom, sexual boredom. I want more than you seem able to give. I want to touch you deep inside. I want slow tenderness. I want it fast and rough. I want you to want me inside you as much as I want to be inside you like we used to. I want to taste you, I want to taste me in you after we’ve fucked. I’m dying inside here Elizabeth, suffocating…choking for air.”

“You’re ridiculous. Dying inside, suffocating, choking…that’s a stupid thing to say. And you’re disgusting, filthy, perverted. You make me feel sick.”

He meets her disdainful gaze. “And I want variety. That’s what Vanessa talked about. There are places we could go…together. Places where men and women have multiple partners. I want you to see me fucking other women. I want to watch you fucking other men. I want to watch you with a woman too. Several women…”

“And if I can’t?”

“Then I’m going to go there with Vanessa. You can do what you like. Take a lover if you want. Do whatever you want.”

The Spanish guitarist stops playing. He glances at the couple at the small table in the corner. A lovers’ quarrel. He and his Maria often quarrel. There is joy in the making up, in the fucking. He knows that the two lovers will go home and fuck. The woman looks feisty. The Spaniard would put money on her taking control of their lovemaking. How delighted the man must be with such a wife! They stand up to leave. They have barely touched their food. Obviously they cannot wait to fuck each other senseless. He leaves the restaurant and sits in the chilly garden for a cigarette break. Cigarettes are now politically incorrect in uptight England and you have to go outside in the cold. But he’s a Spaniard and he smokes. People have been generous with tips on this Christmas evening. He can buy his Maria a gift.

The restaurant is much quieter now. Just the low rumble and mumble of the diners.


George Pappas, author of Monogamy Sucks, Dear Hef and many, many poems, told me of a Hemingway story he’d read a long time ago at college. “Hills Like White Elephants.” I hadn’t read any Hemingway, but I ordered a collection of his short stories and read the tale. It’s very short, but what is intriguing about it is that Hemingway tells it entirely through dialogue; a couple are talking about abortion, but never actually say the word and I understood immediately why the story has stuck with George for all those years. George said it would be interesting to try and write a tale, perhaps with the theme of sexual boredom, using Hemingway’s technique of pushing the plot on through dialogue as a template. George’s idea would be to mention sexual variety but never to get to the word Swinging. “Go for it George!” I said. George said he didn’t have time, but with a generosity so typical of him, he gave his idea to me.

I hope I have lived up to George’s expectations. I know that I can never equal Hemingway, nor can I equal George Pappas, but it’s been interesting trying.

And film buffs will recognise these lines from “Two for the Road” starring Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney. (1967)

Joanna Wallace: What sort of people sit in a restaurant and don’t even try to talk to each other?
Mark Wallace: Married people.